Gweg And His Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Yay! It's the 4th of July! Independence Day! Gweg can't hardly wait for night to arrive, because his dad has bought tons of fireworks. Gweg just loves his all those colors in the night sky and the loud noises they make.

Gweg's dad has bought the best fireworks they make. Some of them are out of state, but everybody shoots off those kind of fireworks, so Gweg isn't worried.

Five hours to go untill dark. Gweg passes the time watching T.V. Gweg is flipping through the channels, when he notices a News Alert!

The reporter comes on T.V. saying they are going to have a news conference with the Mayor.

They show the Mayor stepping up to a podium. He looks worried. He says, "I have some bad news for our town, we have received word that there are terrorists living right under our nose. We were informed that there was an American traitor stockpiling on numerous Weapons Of Mass Destruction, intent on firing them tonight on Independence Day! We know were these terrorists are, and we have an aerial view of their house."

Gweg was shocked to see his own house shown on the screen.

The Mayor continued, "We will use the most strictest means neccesary to deal with these terrorists."

Gweg was too stunned to realize the Mayor had used a double superlative.

Gweg's dad ran in the room screaming, "Gweg you must go hide in the cornfield!" They are coming and they could be here any second!"

Gweg ran out the back door and hid in the cornfield. Five minutes later, he heard the sounds of jets passing by and then he heard a big explosion.

Gweg's house and his family have just been blown straight to hell!

This was too much for Gweg so he passed out.

Later the next day...

Gweg woke up in the cornfield. He spent a while trying to figure out what to do
He decided to hide out in Mexico. So he hitched a ride and moved down there.

Gweg found a job as a dishwasher. It was tough getting by on a dishwasher's wages, but Gweg knew how to pinch a penny, so he did okay.

A whole year went by before the demons of Gweg's past came knocking on his door. Literally.

The knocking came around 8 in the morning and Gweg was still asleep. Gweg groggily woke up, and answered the door.

The person knocking was very tall and muscular. He asked to see Gweg.

Gweg said, "You're talking to him."

The big man replied, "Good. I'm Richard the Bounty Hunter and I've been searching for you. You were wanted for being a terrorist."

Gweg said, "What do you mean 'was'."

"Well," Richard the Bounty Hunyter answered, "You see, the documents implicating your family as terrorists were fake. So the mayor decided to reward you a lot of money for their mistake."

"Money won't bring my family back!" Screamed Gweg.

"Not even $500,000,000." Richard said.

Gweg said, "They will be well missed."

Gweg got into Richard's car and they headed back home.

On the trip home, Gweg wondered what he was going to do with all that money. Give some of it to the poor. Build new hospitals. Discover cures for diseases. So much to do and so much money to do it with! Gweg decided he'll
cross that bridge when he gets there, in the meantime, Gweg starts a conversation with Richard the Bounty Hunter.

"So, did the Mayor hire you to find me?" Gweg asked.

"No, the Mayor asked for anyone to find you at a press conference, so I decided to look for you."

"That's cool," Gweg said. "I noticed your bumper sticker, it read WWBFD, is that like What Would Jesus Do?"

"Kind of," Richard the Bounty Hunter replied, "It stands for What Would Boba Fett Do."

Gweg said, "oh," and then asked, "Who's Boba Fett?"

Richard slammed on the breaks reached over to the passenger side and snapped Gweg's neck.

Richard then wondered, "Hmmm, what would Boba Fett do?"

Richard the Bounter Hunter used Gweg's I.D. card and made it into a new one Identifing Richard as Gweg. Richard then went to the Mayor and collected Gweg's $500,000,000.

But Gweg didn't care, because Gweg is dead.


THE END

Gweg The Vampire Slayer

Well golly, looks like the prophecy of the chosen slayer is wrong. Gweg has become the first male vampire slayer.

Ever since Gweg became a slayer, he has been training day after day. His watcher makes sure of that. Gweg is getting very good and is almost ready to go out and patrol.

The night of his first patrol, Gweg's watcher said to him, "Make sure you are very carefull. There are some vampires out there who have been around for a long time. They are the most dangerous."

Gweg said he would be on the best lookout. No vampire was going to get the best of him! Gweg set out ready to stake some vampires.

Hours went by and not one vampire made an appearance. Gweg was about to call it a night, when he heard a voice from behind him say,

"Who's that I see walking through these woods, why it's little red slaying hood."

Gweg turned around to see who it was and he gasped, it was Richard the World's Oldest Vampire!

Richard the Vampire was surprised to see that the slayer was a guy.

"Well isn't this a shock?" Richard the Vampire said.

"The only shock you are going to have is when I stab you with my stake." Gweg said.

Gweg lunged after Richard, but Richard was too quick. Richard grabbed Gweg bit his neck and turned him into a vampire.

Gweg felt new energy. He felt the darkness engulf him.

"I could get used to this," Gweg the new Vampire said.

"I think not," said Richard the Vampire.

Richard then grabbed Gweg's stake and plunged it into Gweg's heart, turning Gweg to dust.

Richard then went off to shag Allyson Hannigan who is way hotter than Sarah Michelle Geller.

Gweg didn't have an opinion on this, because he was undead and then dead completely.

THE END

Gweg Watches Pro Wrestling

Wow! Gweg can't believe it. He has front row tickets to watch WWECWF live!
Gweg just loves the World Wide Extreme Championship Wrestling Federation. He can't wait to see his favorite wrestler, Bulk Bogan, up close.

Gweg finds out Bulk won't be wrestling untill the main event, but that's okay, because Gweg loves the other wrestlers as well.

Gweg gets a little scared when the Pane comes out. Pane is big, tall, and freaky. He used to where a mask which made him look creepy, but Gweg thinks the mask was better than Pane's real face.

Pane looks like he is really putting the hurt on his opponent, but Gweg knows it is all fake.

Finally! It's the main event. Bulk Bogan comes out and electrifies the crowd. Gweg is really excited now. Bulk goes around the ring, clapping the hands of all the people in the front row. Bulk claps Gweg's hand, and Gweg thinks he is going to faint. Gweg hopes he can get Bulk's autograph after the show.

The lights go dark. "Uh-oh," Gweg thinks, "this can only be one person, I hope its's not him."

But Gweg's fears are confirmed. Coming down to the ring is Richard The Sinister, the most feared man in wrestling.

Richard The Sinister mops the ring with Bulk Bogan, eventually pinning him and winning Bulk' title.

As Richard The Sinister is celebrating, Gweg screams "You Suck Richard!"

Gweg is suprised to hear himself say such a thing, but when he looks up again, he sees Richard The Sinister staring right at him.

Richard grabs a mike and says, "Why don't you come in here and say that to my face little man!"
Gweg knows it's all fake and scripted. So he thinks Richard will go to attack him and Bulk will get up and save him. So Gweg climbs over the barricade and gets into the ring.

Gweg grabs a mike and says to Richard The Sinister, "You suck."

Richard The Sinister grabs Gweg and gets ready to chokeslam him, but out of nowhere, Bulk Bogan knocks Richard down.

Bogan screams, "You are not going to do that to one of my Bulkamaniacs!"

Gweg says outloud, "See I knew it was fake."

Bulk glares at Gweg and says, "I'll show you fake."

Bulk grabs Gweg, turns him upside down and piledrives his skull through his body, snapping his neck and killing Gweg instantly.

Richard The Sinister looks at Bulk and says, "Hey! According to the script, I was supposed to do that."

Bulk just shrugs his shoulders.

"Glory hog" Richard said.

Gweg never got Bulk Bogan's autograph, because he was dead.


THE END

Run Gweg Run

Oh boy, Gweg has just woken up from a long nap. Man, was I tired, Gweg thinks to himself. All of the sudden the phone rings.

It's Gweg's Grandma!

"Hi Grandma!" Gweg says.
Gweg's Grandma says, "Hi Gweggy. Your mommy tells me you haven't been exercising like you are supposed to."

Gweg tries to explain, but his grandma keeps talking, "...so if you run all the way to my house, you'll get a gift."

Gweg says, "A comic?"
Grandma says, "A comic."
Gweg: "A comic!"
Grandma: "A comic."
Gweg's mom who has been listening on the other line: "Phht A comic."

Gweg is really excited. He runs right out his room, down the stairs, and out the door. He was running so fast, he didn't hear his mom tell him to get some milk while he was out.

Gweg is running so fast he feels like he is flying. He has never run this fast before. Faster and faster he goes. He can almost feel that comic book in his hands. He is so preoccupied with running, he almost knocked over a lady with a stroller.

The lady told Gweg to watch where he was going. Later on she would recieve ten thousand spoons when all she needed was a knife. Then she would win the lottery and die the next day.

Gweg kept on running. He was running past the bank, when out of nowhere, Richard the Bank Robber came crashing out of the bank doors.

Gweg and Richard collided with each other.

Richard the Bank Robber got up and said, "You idiot. You almost ruined everything!" Then Richard shot Gweg.

As Gweg laid there dying, all he could think of was that night in his bed when he stayed up reading comic books.

Gweg opened his eyes and said "No!"

Richard the Bank Robber looked at Gweg and said, "What do you mean 'no'?" and shot Gweg again.

Gweg didn't have to run anymore, because he was dead.

THE END