Gweg And His Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Yay! It's the 4th of July! Independence Day! Gweg can't hardly wait for night to arrive, because his dad has bought tons of fireworks. Gweg just loves his all those colors in the night sky and the loud noises they make.

Gweg's dad has bought the best fireworks they make. Some of them are out of state, but everybody shoots off those kind of fireworks, so Gweg isn't worried.

Five hours to go untill dark. Gweg passes the time watching T.V. Gweg is flipping through the channels, when he notices a News Alert!

The reporter comes on T.V. saying they are going to have a news conference with the Mayor.

They show the Mayor stepping up to a podium. He looks worried. He says, "I have some bad news for our town, we have received word that there are terrorists living right under our nose. We were informed that there was an American traitor stockpiling on numerous Weapons Of Mass Destruction, intent on firing them tonight on Independence Day! We know were these terrorists are, and we have an aerial view of their house."

Gweg was shocked to see his own house shown on the screen.

The Mayor continued, "We will use the most strictest means neccesary to deal with these terrorists."

Gweg was too stunned to realize the Mayor had used a double superlative.

Gweg's dad ran in the room screaming, "Gweg you must go hide in the cornfield!" They are coming and they could be here any second!"

Gweg ran out the back door and hid in the cornfield. Five minutes later, he heard the sounds of jets passing by and then he heard a big explosion.

Gweg's house and his family have just been blown straight to hell!

This was too much for Gweg so he passed out.

Later the next day...

Gweg woke up in the cornfield. He spent a while trying to figure out what to do
He decided to hide out in Mexico. So he hitched a ride and moved down there.

Gweg found a job as a dishwasher. It was tough getting by on a dishwasher's wages, but Gweg knew how to pinch a penny, so he did okay.

A whole year went by before the demons of Gweg's past came knocking on his door. Literally.

The knocking came around 8 in the morning and Gweg was still asleep. Gweg groggily woke up, and answered the door.

The person knocking was very tall and muscular. He asked to see Gweg.

Gweg said, "You're talking to him."

The big man replied, "Good. I'm Richard the Bounty Hunter and I've been searching for you. You were wanted for being a terrorist."

Gweg said, "What do you mean 'was'."

"Well," Richard the Bounty Hunyter answered, "You see, the documents implicating your family as terrorists were fake. So the mayor decided to reward you a lot of money for their mistake."

"Money won't bring my family back!" Screamed Gweg.

"Not even $500,000,000." Richard said.

Gweg said, "They will be well missed."

Gweg got into Richard's car and they headed back home.

On the trip home, Gweg wondered what he was going to do with all that money. Give some of it to the poor. Build new hospitals. Discover cures for diseases. So much to do and so much money to do it with! Gweg decided he'll
cross that bridge when he gets there, in the meantime, Gweg starts a conversation with Richard the Bounty Hunter.

"So, did the Mayor hire you to find me?" Gweg asked.

"No, the Mayor asked for anyone to find you at a press conference, so I decided to look for you."

"That's cool," Gweg said. "I noticed your bumper sticker, it read WWBFD, is that like What Would Jesus Do?"

"Kind of," Richard the Bounty Hunter replied, "It stands for What Would Boba Fett Do."

Gweg said, "oh," and then asked, "Who's Boba Fett?"

Richard slammed on the breaks reached over to the passenger side and snapped Gweg's neck.

Richard then wondered, "Hmmm, what would Boba Fett do?"

Richard the Bounter Hunter used Gweg's I.D. card and made it into a new one Identifing Richard as Gweg. Richard then went to the Mayor and collected Gweg's $500,000,000.

But Gweg didn't care, because Gweg is dead.


THE END